Little Cookie Monsters Version 2.0.

MUAHAHAHAHA!!!
I, THE EVIL MASTER DR. PROFFESOR L. JOEE HAVE CREATED A NEW EXPERIMENT!!
Mutant Cookies that will destroy the NATION!!!
Unfortunately, they don't self-destruct as planned.
Oh, hello there!
Like every good ( and I mean bad ) evil genius, I WILL tell you my PLAN.
Even if it was a failed plan.
And you're gonna have to sit through the entire story and hear *ahem* read it.
NO MATTER IF YOU LIKE IT OR NOT.
So here it goes...
I was planning to make a cookie that would destroy the nation from the inside-out.
How, you ask?
Well, I would give the cookies out as free samples..
And when you good-for-nothing citizens ate it..
The cookie would detect the warmth of your internal body temperature...
And heat up..
AND SELF-DESTRUCT!!!
MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!
*cough*
*choke*
*spit*
*ahem*
So yeah.
Except...
There were a few MINOR problems...
The cookies didn't self-destruct...
And they tasted not bad..
THEY WERE SUPPOSED TO SELF-DESTRUCT AND TASTE HORRIBLE!!!
DARN I'M NOT EVIL ANYMORE!!!
GAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHHH!!!!!!
But it IS still a crime to tie people on a chair and force them to listen to your evil plans, right?
Right?
Or should I say wrong?